I know I’m a day behind in my weekly posting, and it’s only the second week so that’s pretty embarrassing. However, if you guys had known me when I was writing fanfiction back in the day, you’d know that sometimes deadlines mean nothing to me. This is a little different from my Fruits Basket fanfic that I never went back to, because I’m primarily writing it to discover what I’m learning, to help me put things into words. It’s like a public diary because I literally will not write just for myself. I need you all to help keep me accountable. I’ve read two of my new books that I ordered for myself last week, both of them were titled Queer Magic, which is a little on the nose. The first one was Queer Magic: Power Beyond Binaries, an anthology of sorts edited by Lee Harrington and Tai Fenix Kulyston. Check it out here. These were very powerful pieces of writing and art that pushed back against the assumed norm in pagan and wiccan circles. They spoke to cultivating a culture of inclusivity in covens and circles, and detailed many ways to do so.
I learned about queer black tantra and the ways that BIPOC queer pagans were navigating the waters and carving out their own spaces. I also learned a great deal about the ableism that is prevalent in pagan spaces, and ways that disabled folx are fighting back against that.
Something really powerful happened to me while I was reading this book, I felt very strongly that I was not the first person to question the status quo of wicca and other pagan traditions. Last week I was feeling vulnerable and alone and scared and I found myself wondering if paganism in a grand sense would ever be right for me. It was shockingly similar to the way I felt when I left Christianity in 2012, wondering if I’ll ever be able to mold myself to something that could fit into a religion. The works that Lee and Tai included in their book (Seriously you guys, read it) gave me a strong sense that powerful and loud voices were on this journey with me, even though I am mostly a solitary practitioner of magick.
It was the same feeling I had when I was at the BLM protest downtown, that I am one of many, and that the many is full of love, strength, and power.
Reading Tomás Prower’s Queer Magic: Lgbt+ Spirituality and Culture from Around the World felt akin to reading a thesis essay about queer mythos from old religions. Check it out here. I did find this very interesting, especially because I learned new myths from traditions close to my heart. Learning about the queerness of existing mythos did help me to feel solid in my desire to question the heteronormativity and cisnormativity (what’s the word for this thing but about the assumption that everyone is endosex?) that I’ve seen in wicca and pagan circles.
Why are people so eager to cling to this tired idea of “Lord and Lady” when there are a myriad of queer stories staring you in the face?
Something I find myself coming back to is that even if “Lord and Lady” is the one true way to create life (It’s not, but just go with me here) why must we confine the spiritual and divine to those biological (again, this is wrong, but just play pretend with me) truths? Who cares what biology says, the spiritual plane is different and anyone can be anything.
In beginning to think about my own practice and what it will look like, I find myself drawing away from forming attachments with deities that are traditionally represented as endosex and cisgender. I love Diana, but maybe she’s not right for me. I have a feeling it’s going to be time to do an awful lot of soul searching and research to figure out the representations of the great spirit that feel right to me.
I’ve also been very lucky to help along Jess, my platonic partner, with her own spiritual journey. I won’t say too much about this since it’s her personal information, but even though we are on different paths and following different traditions, I feel very lucky to be at her side.
In the coming week I’m going to be diving into more reading of adaptations. I’m going to be reading Kane’s Phaedra’s Love again and comparing it to earlier versions of the story. I’m also going to be diving into Chi-raq and rereading Lysistrata.
See you all next week,